Wednesday, 21 October 2020

Endless Deep Writing

Today I was learning about linking my first sentence to the last.

I enjoyed writing this story because it was about a time i was very afraid.

I found it challenging to come up with a first sentence to link to the bottom because sometimes the sentence doesn't sound right.

My digital learning object shows that i can write a story about a time i was terrified of something like the water.

Next time I would change my writing to have more similies or even add some metaphores because it doesn't sound much exciting.

Endless Deep

When you’re just a young person, the pool feels a thousand times deeper.



I was only 6 and I didn't know how to float yet. I thought I would never learn how to float or swim because I can't even touch the floor. As I climbed into the water I stretched my feet out just to realize I couldn’t touch the surface



My dad wasn’t in the pool because he was buying ice blocks for me and my little brother, who didn’t want to swim. I let go of the edge of the pool but as soon as I lifted my hands up, the water dragged me into the middle of it like a giant whirlpool sucking me in. Slowly but surely, my head sunk into the depths of the endless deep.



As I was paddling my legs and arms for help, my dad swam rapidly towards me. But before he was there to save me, I was swimming! I couldn’t believe what had just happened because when you’re just a young person, the pool feels a thousand times deeper.

By Lance M

2 comments:

  1. Hi lance this Rose from Room 25 Owairaka school
    that time sounds really terrifying you did i really great job on your story to remember that next time you should and i wow words
    Blog u later

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for commenting on my blog.
      I will try to add wow words into my next piece of writing.
      Blog you later.

      Delete

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